The Quiet Side Of Retirement

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Good dear listeners. Today I want to talk about a kind of version. And there's a version of retirement that a lot of people imagine. And a version that almost nobody talks about, which is the quiet one. Like the one where you stop for the first time in decades, and in the stillness, something unexpected surfaces. Like a voice, a story. A lot of you that was waiting for exactly for this moment. Yeah. So today we are with someone who listed, I mean, who actually listened to that voice and has written seven books because of it. And today we will talk about what it means to begin creating something real later in life and what that act of creation does to the mind and the spirit. Right? So hey dear listeners, welcome back to another powerful episode of Mind Meets Machine. I'm your host, Avik, and today's conversation is about something quietly powerful, like the act of writing as a practice of purpose and reinvention. So if you have ever had a story inside you that you haven't told yet, or if you have wondered like whether it is too late to create something meaningful, then stay with

Starting A Writing Life After Work

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us. This one is fun. So please welcome my guest, Paula Pendriela. So welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Thank you so much, Avik. I really appreciate the invitation.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Lovely, lovely. Thank you so much for joining us today, Paula. So today today's conversation is very important, I believe. Uh, here definitely I want to start with something. I mean, in the beginning, I definitely want to start with uh because I think your story challenges something to a lot of people, and that creativity is for the young, and there is a window for making art or telling stories. Once it closes, that's it. So you started writing after retirement, right? So from there, if you can share, like what was it like to discover that voice inside you at that point in your life? And at the same time, what do you think? Like, was waiting all along?

SPEAKER_00 1:58

To be honest with you, Avik, I never looked at retirement as a time when I was gonna start doing anything. I really looked at retirement as a goal to get to. It was not something that I thought, oh, I can't wait to retire. I'm gonna sit down and write that great novel. It was more, I'm going to retire. My husband's going to retire. He likes watching cowboy shows, and I knew that wasn't for me. So I started looking at what my interests were. And I would highly recommend that to anyone who's gone into retirement. What do you like to do? And for me, I loved reading romance novels. I just loved reading them. And I felt like I could do that as a creative process. And I was very blessed in my life to meet a woman who was an editor. And she challenged me to sit down, we'll write a book. And I said, okay. And in two weeks, I had written my first very badly written novel, but I sent it to her and she said, you know, this is pretty good. I think you should pursue this. And it has been wonderful for me. I, you know, it's just been such a creative, creative thing for me to do. So really, really enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Amazing. Amazing. And like once you started, what surprised you the most about what

Research And Readability In Historical Romance

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the writing asked you? I mean, asked of you.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

For me, because my main genre is early 1800s, it asks a lot of me. You know, I have to do a lot of research because obviously I can't write it as it if it's a contemporary piece. However, I have to keep in mind that people today will be reading it. And if you've ever sat and read a Jane Austen book or read Charlotte Bronte, you get the appreciation that it can be a slug to get through the English. And so I try to remember that when I'm writing for my audience. That yes, I want to keep it set in that period. I don't want to be bringing in language or items or things that are contemporary because it will take it out of that time frame. However, I had to think about the people that are reading it want to be able to read it and not slug through it.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Okay. So I mean, obviously that obviously I I love one thing that there is something quietly beautiful in what you describe because the idea that the stories were always there, right? Waiting for a season of life when there was finally enough space and permission to let them out. So I think a lot of people listening have something inside them and they have been telling themselves that they will uh get to somebody or someday, right? And definitely you are the proof that someday can be right now as well. So if we go a bit deeper, like you choose historical romance, a genre that requires real research, real imagination, and at the same time, real emotional investment as well. So, what drew you to that specific world that, and at the same time, like what does the process of going deep into the historical period and building a love story inside it actually feel like from the inside?

Building A Love Story Around Disability

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Well, my most current book out is a book called The Heartstone. And the young lady who is the lead in that book has parents who are deaf. And for her, that is a real, real challenge, as it was for anyone in the early 1800s. It's not like you had references to go to. You had institutions that focus on that. You could look it up or Google it or do whatever you wanted to do. So I had to find something that made reference to that period in time. And I was able to find a thesis that was written by a young lady who had family members that were deaf and who had wanted to know more about the history of deafness. And I had to layer that into a love story. And the easiest way to do that was the fact that at that time people kept these kind of things, these kind of disabilities hidden because there was that worry or that concern that it would get passed on to other family members. And so, you know, that creates all the tension that's in that story because she wants to take care of her parents, but her uncle, who's advising her when she's looking for a spouse, is telling her, you can't tell anybody you have this going on at home. And even for people today, the disability in a family member is not an easy thing. I mean, you have to deal with that and you have to find ways of coping with it. It's just a little more acceptable than it was in that time frame.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Very true, very true, yeah.

Characters That Become Personal

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And like as you mentioned, is there a particular book or a character that felt especially personal to you?

SPEAKER_00 6:54

That that felt I'm sorry, what did you say positive? Personal. They all are personal. Okay. I know it sounds a little bit trite, but they become your children. You you just love these characters. You love creating stories for them. You know, I know there are people who they will sit and outline a whole story before they write it. But for me, that's a difficult thing to do. I always have a little bit of a story arc of where I know I want to take my characters, but I get to know them as I'm writing them and they become personal to me. And I'll think to myself, I I wanted them to do this or that, but that person wouldn't do that. Yeah. So, yes, they all become more personal. Now I do have a book that's going to be coming out in the fall that's a little different genre from that Regency genre, which is early 1800s England. And it's going to be in the 1940s in my little hometown in Pennsylvania. And that was very personal to me because I could relate to that. And interestingly, I have an aunt who is 100 years old who was able to give me background on my hometown during that time. So I was able to interject a lot of those things into the book. So that became very personal for me, especially when I was doing the research, to find all these things in my little hometown that I paid no attention to, knew nothing about, and I was able to, you know, have my eyes open to them for the first time.

Daily Writing Habits That Add Up

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Exactly.

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So, and if you talk about this, that the everyday part of it, like, because writing seven books is an extraordinary achievement that comes from an enormous number of ordinary days. So, someone who is listening who wants to write or create anything, but keeps finding a reason not to start it, what does that actual daily practice of writing look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Well, for me, I usually do most of my writing and creativity in the morning. And as anyone who's older can tell you, that is when you are the freshest and you're able to come up with the most ideas. The later in the day it gets, I can't do it anymore. And when I'm writing a book, I try to write an entire chapter when I sit down to do that. And I also add in my editing later in the day because I'm always working on a book. I'm either writing one or I'm editing or I'm writing and editing at the same time. You know, and I and I have to tell you, I've had a lot of older people say to me, I would love to write a book. Well, the best advice I can give them is do it. And if you're looking at writing things like a personal memoir for family, which I've had a lot of older people ask me about, how do I do that? There are templates for that out there where you can order a blank book, basically, but they will ask you questions. And it allows you to fill in those things about family history. But for me, as I say, I mean, it it's really I try not to do it all the time because I am retired, but I love it so much. And when I start a book, I can't wait to get back to the characters and type the next chapter. Exactly.

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Exactly true.

Beating Imposter Syndrome By Starting

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So for the person who says that I did love to write, but I don't know where to begin with, what is the most honest and practical advice you'd give them?

SPEAKER_00 10:20

I had a friend who urged me on and gave me the ability to sit down and write a book. Because when you first write a book, the first time you ever do it, you think to yourself, I'm an imposter. I'm not a novelist, I really can't do this. But you have to take the time, sit down and write. And for me, I sat and I read a few books and how to write a book, basically. I Googled it. How do I write a romance novel? And you know, I took little threads of all those things, but the most important thing is to just sit down and write.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

So and obviously, and that's so useful and honest because I mean what you're saying is sitting down and beginning and trusting that trusting that all the rest or I I think a lot of people who want to write needed to hear this exactly that. So I believe it'll definitely help you do

Purpose And Identity In A New Decade

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this. And also, I think there is something in your story that goes beyond writing, something about I mean what it means to start something creative and meaningful later in life, after a career, after decades of being defined by other roles. So, what has writing given you in terms of your own sense of self and purpose that you didn't expect it?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

I never thought I could be a novelist. Never, never, never. My only time that I wrote anything was when I was in high school and I was requested to do it as a homework assignment. And usually it was something that was a book report on something I had to read. But I wasn't asked to be creative and do that. And I recognize now that I would have loved it if I would have been able to do it, or if I would have sat down and do it, if I would have kept a journal, if I would have done these things, I really, really would have enjoyed it. And, you know, there is no time like the present. I mean, there's a book called Uh Defining the Decade by Dr. Meg J. And she argues that people that are in their 20s, that is the defining decade of your life because it determines your future path. But I kind of disagree with that. I think whatever decade you're in defines who you are. And you may think your 20s said that, but I never would have thought of myself as a writer or a novelist in my 20s. Never. I was a nurse and that was it. So, you know, I mean, that's the thing. You have to open your mind up to doing other things. And boy, when you hit retirement, that is a great time to do it. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Yeah. So, and and also, this is the honest part, I mean, I believe, of any creative life, the hard

Handling Hard Days With Research

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days. The book that fights back, the chapter that won't come together, the moment you wonder like whether anyone will ever read it or not, or whether it was worth the effort or not, across seven books. I mean, you have had those days as well, maybe. So, how do you I mean, just for the listeners who want to start for their guidance, like how do you stay with the walk when the writing gets well?

SPEAKER_00 13:30

First of all, I go into it with the idea that I want to do this for myself. So I I don't even think about how many books am I gonna sell, what am I gonna do? How does that work? You know, and and I mean, if I was doing it to make a living, I would have had a hard time doing that. I don't have the advantage that these younger kids have that they were born with the phone in their hand and understand the technology. I did not. I've had to really, you know, slug my way through that aspect of it. But as far as the writing, I love it and I do it. And Lisa Kleipus, who is one of the authors that I read frequently, wrote that if you are ever having a mind block, do research. Research will give you a ton of ideas that have never occurred to you. And that's what I do. If I find I'm at a place in the book where I'm like, well, what do I do with these people next? I sit down, I get out my iPad, I sit and do research. And I'll think, I could do that, you know, and then take it that direction. So, you know, I totally agree with her philosophy. Research is a great way to go if you're trying to think about a book. I mean, if you're doing something that's fictional, if you're doing something non-fictional, you know, I I haven't written a nonfiction book, so I assume that you are probably doing a lot of research before you even sit down to write that book or are an expert in that area.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

So that that's just my advice. Got it.

A Final Push To Begin Plus How To Connect

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And if you have to give one advice to the listeners today, what that could be.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

When you you hit your 60s, you've got to view that as a great new time in your life. A time when you don't have the kids at home, you're not waiting to go to work the next day. You just look at that as your time in your life where you get to go out and do those things you always thought about doing, whether it's traveling, whether it's sitting down to write a book, whether it's playing cards or playing mahjong or playing pickleball or whatever it is that you want to do. But don't waste that time. Enjoy it. Have enjoy being with friends, do those things. It's great.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

That's really interesting because there's and and sometimes we lose those uh small, small moments as well. That is much important in our life. So that's very important. If listeners want to connect with you, what would be the great medium to connect?

SPEAKER_00 15:56

My website is paulapan.com. Just like Peter Pan, only it's PaulaPan.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Okay, that's interesting, definitely. So so it's it's quite easy, but still, what I'll I'll make sure that your life gets easier. I'll put all the links, details, everything in the show notes for your easy reference. And thank you, Paula. Seven books after a time and it's not just an kind of achievement, it's an invitation to everyone listening right now, or maybe they'll listen later also to stop waiting for that permission to begin. And I'm really, really grateful that you came to share this today. So thank you so much for that. And anyone who is listening, like if there is something that you have been waiting to create or maybe what to start, here's what I definitely leave with you that don't wait for that perfect moment, the perfect season, perfect version, perfect thought, or perfect everything perfect about yourself. Just begin with the first word, the first stroke, a first small step, and trust that the rest will follow. Right. So it always does, happens with me also, definitely for you as well. So with this hope, dear listeners, this is your host, Avek, and this is my next machine. I'll see you in the next one. Thank you so much.