Why Feeling Stuck Feels Normal

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Daarelessen is you know, like uh today I thought like why not to start something which is uh we can feel something like most of us wake up knowing that we want something different, something more. But when we sit down to to figure out what that actually is, we just hit the wall. Ah, what I was thinking, right? So not because we lack the ambition or the drive, but because we are trying to navigate without a map that we trust, and the noise gets louder than the signal, right? So and um I have to say that we convince ourselves that feeling stuck is just a part of being responsible, being adult, being realistic. So, dear listeners, this is Mind Meets Machine, I'm your host, Avek, and this is the show is all about the quiet work of becoming someone that you recognize. And we don't do hacks here, we don't crash the kind of clarity, we just sit with the questions long enough to let real answers arrive. And today's guest, it's a very, very lovely, very, very lovely guest. Please welcome John Dix. So, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me, I think. Glad to be here. Amazing, amazing. So, thank you so much, John, for being here. And yeah, let's sound like we'll quickly love to introduce you, John before we delve deep into the discussion. So, John is an I am clarity coach and the creator of the I am system and mappingering. Yes, who has spent years helping people move from uncertainty to the purpose. So, I do not want to take much of your time.

The Reframe From Stuck To Unclear

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Let's get started. John, like uh a lot of people say that they feel stuck, but you have said that people are not actually stuck, they are just unclear. I mean, that's a big reframe, right? I mean, so uh what do you think? I mean, is the biggest or the most common misconception here that people have about what it means to be stuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Great question. Well, and the answer to that is that most people who feel stuck or overwhelmed or uncertain about what their next best step is, is primarily because they don't have the clarity that they need to know what direction they're going in. And what I've found over the years of working with mind maps and clients is that the reason a lot of people feel stuck in uncertain is because they have a lot of information that is swirling in their minds, you know, that is bouncing inside of their brains, if you will, and they can't really sort it out or properly see it clearly enough. So they may think that, all right, let me do this or let me do that. And there's so many different options that I don't know what to choose or where to go, which door to open or what step to take is because of a lot of that stuff swirling in your mind. So, and and when they feel like they're overwhelmed with so much data or information, they paralyze themselves. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to say, I don't know what my next move should be. So, what I've learned is that people aren't really stuck, they're just simply unclear. You know, all of that stuff that's swirling in their mind is so cloudy that what I've developed and I help people do is to is to get all of that information out of their mind onto a map, onto a page that they can now see their thinking. Most people never take the time to actually see what they're thinking. They think they know what they're thinking, but once that we can really get it out of their mind of everything they're really thinking about, it gives them greater perspective on what they're actually thinking about, which ultimately gives them more clarity for them to know what to do to become unstuck, to know what their next step is. All right, I know I can now see all of my options to when it was just in my mind, I couldn't really see it. But now that I can see everything, now I can get better understanding to know what my next best step should be. That makes sense?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Makes sense, makes sense, definitely. So, like as you said, and I definitely love to ask you on this, that suppose when someone uh comes to you saying that they feel kind of trapped in their job or their routine, what's actually are usually

The Brain Dump That Brings Relief

SPEAKER_01 4:18

the first thing you help them uh uh see differently?

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Well, one of the first things that I do is is called a brain dump exercise, where I'll have them just grab a piece of paper and just spend at least five minutes, ten minutes max, five between five and ten minutes, and just get everything that's in your mind out of your mind. If you think about it, put it on the paper. Don't overanalyze it, don't judge it, don't critically think it. If you think about it, get it out of your mind. I gotta get milk in the morning, put it on your page. I gotta pay a bill, put it on your page. You know, I don't feel well, put it on the page. Whatever's coming in your mind, get it out and put it on the page. And what I found is just that exercise alone brings so many people relief. So I really challenge people that if you are unclear, stressed, overlone, overwhelmed, overloaded, spend five minutes, grab a blank piece of paper, and just get all of that stuff out of your mind. All of it. Again, don't overanalyze, don't judge it. If you think about it, put it on a page. And once people actually do that, that will give them just immediate relief for once, because now it's not chaotic in their mind. Now they actually can see it. Then actually, we when we do the brain dump exercise, now we can actually start to look at some of the things that they put on their map to determine priority, to determine is it really something significant? Is it something that you really should worry about? Or even furthermore, we can start thinking about all right, what sh how should we handle this? Is there another way to look at this? You know, who can help you with this? You know, what's really going on? You know, so you can really start to once you get it all out of your mind, now you can start to kind of play with it and start to sort it and design it and move it and, you know, and sort what was once in your mind just going all over the place. Now you got it on a page now. Now you can actually structure it in such a way that uh can not just bring immediate relief, but will clarify how you should respond and react to those things that were in your mind once before.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Yeah. That's interesting. So I mean, obviously, the I mean, here the distinction matters because if you're stuck, you are powerless. But if you are unclear, that's something that you can do. I mean, it shifts the questions from like, why is this happening to me to why am I not seeing this yet? So I I mean, am I am I correct or just Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

A lot of people that are stuck, unfortunately, default to that, why is this happening? I don't understand what's going on. You know, why does this keep happening to me? And it's primarily because they don't have visibility on what's really going on. Or probably more most importantly, I think, is that they're not understanding the meaning that they're attaching to certain things. So when we get those things out of their mind, you know, me and my spouse had a fight. I'm mad at my spouse. Put that on your page. Now, once it's on the page, now we can look at it. You know, what's really going on with you and your spouse?

unknown 7:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

You know, what's really, should you apologize? What kind of conversation you should have with her to resolve it? Is it really as bad as you once thought it was when it was trapped in your mind? So now you can get greater perspective on things which reduces stress immediately and it gives you clarity about how to address some things that you would never would have had if it just stayed swirling in

Losing Everything And Finding Mind Maps

SPEAKER_00 7:51

your mind.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

And uh so also, like uh you spent 16 years as a more great software consultant before you made this shift into coaching. So, I mean, that's not a small pivot. So, what was happening underneath the surface that made you realize that something deeper actually needed to change?

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Yeah, that's a that's a great question. And what had happened is is back in 2008, uh in early 2000s, I had owned a pretty large mortgage company in Los Angeles, California, in the US, and life was very well. But then the mortgage meltdown hit, which basically started the global recession of 2008, and this once millionaire life lifestyle I was living was completely gone. I mean, gone. Houses, business, cars, wife, kids, gone. And I was forced to move back to my mother's house to figure out what I was gonna do with my life after this point. The lowest part, darkest part of my life. And I went to my mom's house and I had this box that was full of motivational tapes and CDs and books and things that I collected over the years, and I knew I had to go back in there to kind of reset myself. And there was this book in there called the Mind Map Book, and I don't remember buying it, but it resonated with me at this particular time. I read it and decided to mind map the entire contents of that box, which was full of just a lot of great positive stuff. And that gig was my first introduction to mind maps, and it gave me some clarity, gave me some insight in some ways that I was able to turn my life around, like in less than eight months, and became the software developer. And I started using mind maps on a daily just to clear my thoughts, you know, just to, you know, as things were, I come up with a business plan or a strategy or had to resolve something. I just was, it was just a fun thing that I just did. But then when COVID hit in 2020 and we were quarantined, you know, I I just something just came in my mind that, you know what, I need to share this mind map that I've been using for 10 years at this time. You know, I need to share this with other people. I can see this being a benefit. So since 2020, COVID, I, you know, I wrote 10 books on it, became an international best-selling author. I did a TED X talk on this specific transition in my life on how mind mapping got into my life and how I transformed my life. So now I'm just, I see the benefit with all of the people that I've been coaching and working with, how it's really transforming people's lives in a positive way. That now I'm pretty much full-time coaching and teaching and speaking all around the country, showing people, hey, if you got a lot of stuff going on in your mind, that you need clarity, you need sorted out, you're you're stuck, you're you're you're really stressed about something. Try a mind map, get all that stuff out. And it's resonating, and and I'm excited. And now I believe it's just my mission and my calling now for the rest of my life to share this tool and this system that I created to really help people love and live their best lives. And that's that's just been my mission for the last three years solidly of just coming on podcasts and speaking at conferences and speaking at universities and corporations. Hey, you know, know that this is a tool that you can use if you're feeling these certain ways. So it's been going well for me. I'm excited. And again, thanks for having

The I Am Map And Identity

SPEAKER_00 11:25

me.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

So I I also uh love to ask you about the daily part, right? So I mean, when we when you talk about the I am system, you are helping people discover who they are and define who they are becoming. So in everyday life, how does the lack of clarity actually show up? Like, what does it look like when someone is living without that anchor?

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Yeah, that that that is that's a great question. And what I've found personally and with coaching and and helping other people is that so many people have dreams, so many people have goals, so many people have intentions on what they want to do with their lives, and they work hard towards those. And when they actually achieve those goals or realize those dreams, a lot of people still feel unsatisfied, unfulfilled, incomplete, if you will, even though they worked hard to get that goal, you know, even though they, you know, put in so many hours and work towards it, that once they got it, it still didn't give them that satisfaction that they thought they was going to get. And what I found is that it's primarily because what they were intending for, their goal or their dream, wasn't truly in alignment with who they are. They didn't get clear on their identity first. So, what I do now when I work with clients, instead of talking about strategy first, this is what you should do to achieve the goal. I will pause them and say, before we get all into that, let's get clear on who are you first? Who are you? What is really important to you in your life as it relates to your health, your wealth, your success, your happiness. Let's map that out in what I call the I am mind map. You put I am in the center, health, wealth, success, and happiness, and you really dig deep into each one of those to really get clear. So when you're done with that process, which is you're never really done because it always evolves, but once you get it deep enough, now you can look at that one snapshot, your I am I map, and really know exactly who you are and what's most important to you, your core values, your core beliefs, what's really at the depths of your soul as it relates to your spiritual health, your physical health, your mental health, as it relates to your success in your relationships, your results, your rewards, your happiness. I mean, we I got books and courses on all of this to get people clear on who you are first. Then once you get clear on that, now let's start developing strategies and systems for you to reach your goal. Because then you're guaranteeing a couple of things. First, you're guaranteeing that you will succeed because now you're doing stuff that's truly in alignment with who you are and who you're becoming and intending to be. So when times get rough or times you don't feel like it, it's easier to get through those things because you know it's a part of you now. And that's again what I find is that a lot of people they say they want to get healthy, but their identity is not a healthy person. They don't believe they're a healthy person. I want to be healthy, but I don't really believe I can ever be a healthy person. So when it gets hard to go to the gym, you're not going. But if you work on your I am mind map and believe that, hey, you know what? I am a healthy person. Those times when you don't feel like going, you'll you'll go because it's in alignment with who you are. You know, you only do, we only do what we believe ourselves to be. That's it. I mean, you can your identity is everything. You know, you're only going to do what you think you are or capable of doing. So that's why I start there with the I am mind map with all of my people, because I want them to get clear on who you are first. Now let's start layering on the task, the strategy, the objectives, and the plan to help you realize your goal, which is why, out of the thousands and thousands of different mind maps you can make. I mean, you can literally make a mind map for anything you're thinking about, anything you're thinking about. You can make a mind map for it. There's none more important than your I am mind map because that gets you clear on who you are and what you want with your life.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

That's very important. That is very, very important. And also, uh, I'll definitely love to ask you also

Daily Practices To Keep Clarity

SPEAKER_01 15:52

one more thing. I mean, which I feel like it is it is very important because let's say someone does the work, gets clear, starts moving into the new direction. Then life happens and they lose the momentum. Doubt comes back, old patterns again resurface. So then how do you help people sustain that clarity when everything around them is just pulling back towards the family?

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah, it's a great question. Great question. And I've developed systems for that because I had to deal with that personally myself too and working with clients. And once we get that foundational I am mind map clarified for them, there is a commitment that needs to be made to just look at it every day. Every day, that's the first thing you look at in the morning is your I am mind map because it's telling you who you are. It's telling you who you're intending to be. Naturally, as life happens, things may change, but it's never the core issues that change. It may be your approach to it may change, but the core of it may not change. An example, on an I am mind map, you'll have uh I am healthy spiritually. When I first did that 10 years ago, I asked myself, all right, now what actions do I need to take to have excellent health spiritually? First thing that came to my mind is, you know, I need to pray more. Okay, so I put that on my map. You know, so when are you gonna pray? I'm gonna pray at nine o'clock at night, eight, you know, 5:30 in the morning. That's that's the task that I need to make sure that I do every day to make sure I have excellent spiritual health. Put that on my IMI map. But then as time evolved, I started to realize, well, wait a minute, maybe I should fast too. Maybe I should go to church, or maybe I should, you know, maybe I should do there's other things that I can do that can help me improve that area. So the strategies of how to have excellent spiritual health evolve as I evolve, as you evolved, but the core principle of having excellent spiritual health that doesn't change, but your approach changes and will evolve, which is why I kind of mentioned earlier that your I am mind map is never really done. I mean, I've had maybe thousands of iterations and evolutions of my I am mind map over the last 16 years. Because again, I but I look at it every day to this day. I still look at my I am mind map every single morning. I look at it and remind myself of who I intend to be today. This is who I'm going, this is who I am today. And I even go as far as with my 90-day course that I have available for people in that last month. It's a 90-day course. I call it the I am transformation course. The first month, each week, we go through the main topics health, wealth, success, and happiness. So after that first month, people get really clear. All right, these are the true things that really mean something to me. The second month, we actually go through and get really clear on the action steps they need to take for each one of those. Like I said, pray, meditate, or whatever. Then that third month, what I do is show people how to take that mind map, that I am mind map, and record it. So now they're recording themselves to themselves about who they are. So it's like a mantra, if you will. I am healthy, I'm wealthy, I'm successful, I'm happy, healthy, wealthy, I'm successful, I'm happy. Then we go deep into that I am mind map, kind of like a mantra, I guide people on how to actually record it. So every morning they're listening to themselves tell themselves who they are as it relates to their health, wealth, success, and happiness. And when you develop those, that habit, if you will, or the or those systems, when life comes at you, unexpected life stuff. You know, you get fired from job, somebody dies, you know, you get divorced, or whatever's going on in your life that was unexpected, your IM mind map will help you get back on track a lot faster than if you didn't have it. You know what I mean? Because you're like, all right, this is what happened in my life. It was, that was wild. I did not expect that to happen. But let me look at my I am mind map to see where that experience happened in my I am mind map. And let me start brainstorming and thinking about how this person that I've identified in my I am mind map should handle that situation. How should I handle that? Now that I've clarified who I am, how would who I am handle that situation that just occurred in my life? It's powerful, brother. I mean, it's very, very powerful because a lot of people, you know, when life throws them a whole bunch of stuff, if they don't have clarity on who they are, that can go anywhere. You know, some people even kill themselves sometimes when they, you know, something happens or they go to drugs or they go to some kind of crazy behavior because they don't know how to deal with what happened in their lives, that I am mind map will get them back centered and focused on this is who I am. So despite what happened, this is who I am, and this is how I should deal with it based on who I clarified at who I am.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Amazing. So if you have to give one advice to the Litzman study, what that will be.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Get clear on who you really are. Not what you do, not what you live, not your job, not your title. No, spend time to really clarify who you are at the depths of your soul. Put it in the map form so you can actually see it of who you are, who you intend to be, who are you becoming. It is very, very powerful to make sure that you are moving in the direction that you need to to love and live your best life. It's it's it's very important to get that kind of clarity about who you are. Not what your dad told you you should be, not who your mom said you should be, not what society said you should be. No, go inside yourself, talk to your higher power, your God, that inner voice, have a conversation and really get clear on what is most important in your life. Visualize that, map it out. So now you have a core commandment, if you

Final Advice And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 22:08

will. You have a constitution, a personal constitution. You have a personal commitment to yourself about this is who I'm gonna be, despite what happens in your life. You already are clarified and committed to this is who I am. That would be my best recommendation for you and all your listeners.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Amazing. And if they want to connect with you, how they can connect.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

I'm at johndiggs.com, J-O-H-N-D-I-G-G-S dot com. Anybody can email me directly at john at johndiggs.com. I'm on all social medias, John Diggs, the I am clarity coach, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube, all of that stuff. And please, uh, you know, I just encourage you and your listeners that this is something I'm really passionate about, just truly just helping as many lives as possible. That's what my I am mind map got me really clear about. That I know why I'm living. There's no guess. I know what my mission is, I know what my purpose is, I know what my vision is, and I'm very clear that I'm on this earth to help other people get clear on who they are and what they want. So, with that said, please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you got a question or if I can help in any way. This is uh this is God's work that uh is coming through me.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Exactly, exactly true. So uh dear listeners, what I'll do is I'll put out the links, details, everything into the show notes for the easy reference. And I have to say that you are not star, you are unclear, and unclear is something you can work with, right? So, John, thank you so much for being here, for sharing your perspectives. It is really, really helpful, I'd say. And for everyone, like I mean, thank you so much for being here. And I'd say, like, this conversation is one that you will want to sit with, not rush too fast and just let it settle and let it ask you the questions that you have been avoiding. And when uh you are ready, take one small step towards the clarity that's been waiting for you all along. So, with this hope, this is your host every week, and this is Mind Me's Machine. See you soon in the next one. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Thanks for having me, man.