3 days ago

19 min

Title: Holding Your Humanity Through Loss: Anticipatory Grief, Self-Compassion, and Moving Forward with Amanda Landes

Podcast available on

About the Show Mind Meets Machine is a podcast produced under the Podhub Network and hosted by Avik Chakraborty. The show explores the intersection of human intention, business growth, and technology. It provides clear strategy for creators, founders, and service providers who want to build sustainable digital systems without losing human connection.

About the Guest Amanda Landes is a licensed psychologist and author with extensive clinical experience across forensic outpatient and inpatient environments. Her book, I Am Almost Okay, candidly documents her experience navigating her father's terminal illness alongside concurrent life challenges. She focuses on helping individuals process complex loss, eliminate self-judgment, and cultivate self-compassion.

To learn more about Amanda, explore her writing, or purchase her book, visit her official website: https://imalmostokay.com/

Why You Must Listen Grief often arrives long before a physical loss occurs, creating a quiet disconnect between internal heartbreak and daily routine demands. This conversation provides a compassionate space for anyone struggling with the expectations of how they "should" grieve. Amanda offers grounded psychological insights on letting go of perfectionism, overcoming the guilt of seeking normal moments, and building a sustainable relationship with loss over time.

Key Takeaways

  • Grief is not a linear, step-by-step process; it begins long before physical loss occurs when facing a terminal diagnosis.

  • Psychological expertise does not exempt someone from emotional pain, but self-awareness can help minimize long-term regrets about choices made.

  • We often judge ourselves far more harshly during crises than the people around us do; leaning on supportive networks is essential.

  • Feeling guilty for seeking normal moments or taking time for personal self-care while caring for a dying loved one is common but unnecessary.

  • Real support means showing up consistently as a steady presence without expecting the grieving person to perform or manage your comfort.

 

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Transcript

 

1
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Host (Avik): Dear listeners, a strange thing happens when someone you love is dying. The world tells you to stay strong, stay positive, and focus on the time remaining.

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Host (Avik): Few mention the deep loneliness of going through daily motions while something fundamental inside you breaks apart.

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Host (Avik): Today, we explore holding onto your humanity when grief arrives not as a single event, but as a long companion.

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Host (Avik): Welcome back to Mind Meets Machine. I am your host, Avik, and today we are joined by licensed psychologist Amanda Landes. Welcome to the show, Amanda.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): It is nice to be here, Avik.

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Host (Avik): Amanda is a licensed psychologist who recently published *I Am Almost Okay*, exploring her experience navigating her father's terminal cancer. What is the most common misconception about how grief is supposed to work?

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Grief begins much earlier than people realize, starting long before physical death during a terminal illness. It is not a neat, linear staircase where you move from denial to acceptance and emerge good as new. Acceptance includes complicated, ongoing emotions.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Being a psychologist did not make processing grief easier, though it heightened self-awareness. My primary goal was handling decisions in alignment with my values so I would face fewer regrets looking back.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Hard times act like a projective test, bringing past feelings and relationships to the surface. We often overestimate how well we understand our future reactions until we face difficult circumstances directly.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Writing *I Am Almost Okay* showed me how harsh I was being on myself. The support I received from friends demonstrated that I should have relied on others more instead of attempting to power through alone.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Living with anticipatory grief feels surreal, like balancing two distinct worlds between professional duties and bedside care. You can feel like a crumpled paper that was smoothed out—functional, but changed underneath.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): I felt persistent guilt over leaving the hospital or wanting moments for myself. Even when logically understanding that my father wanted me to live my life, setting aside guilt takes effort.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Outlets like running provided dedicated personal space without decisions or expectations. Finding an activity that gives you mental room to reconnect with yourself is essential.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Real support means showing up consistently as a presence rather than stepping back out of fear of intruding. Normalizing lighthearted interactions alongside hard realities offers genuine comfort without personalizing the grieving person's responses.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Grief shifts shape over time rather than disappearing entirely. Removing the expectation that you will eventually 'get over it' allows you to renavigate life alongside the experience.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Hang in there. Things do get better over time. You will experience moments where life feels good again and you move forward.

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Guest (Amanda Landes): Listeners can find my book on Amazon, follow @AmandaE.Landis on Instagram, or visit imalmostokay.com.

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Host (Avik): All links will be included in the show notes. Sometimes being almost okay is the most honest truth. Thank you, Amanda, and thank you to our listeners.

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